So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
