you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
