that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
