Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
