arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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