If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize