C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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