Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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