You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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