I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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