Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
