Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
