well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
