Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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