in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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