The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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