As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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