Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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