Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
