I want to stick my p in your. b.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
