Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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