Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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