haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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