That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize