You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
