dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
YAS. BRING CRAB.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
