Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
