Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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