So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
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