when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
