she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
