So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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