I think scott just propositioned me for sex
operation have a gay friend backfired
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
