so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
