Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
