Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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