"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
