YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
