She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
how does that bad decision feel?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
