I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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