I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize