I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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