I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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