my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
