I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
