But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
