I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
