just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
