There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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