i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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