how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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