I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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