your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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