so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize