I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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