Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
