Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
