Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
