Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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