he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
