it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
